And Now Some Names of Fictional Bands I Would Not See in Concert Even if I Had Free Tickets

Liquid Metal Unicorn

Neckbeard 69

The Oom Pah Pah Dubsteppers

Pineapple, inserted

Kick to the Ampersands

Puppies, Rainbows and Jesus

Pan Flute Odyssey

No birdsong, no insects.

No birdsong, no insects., originally uploaded by Dellis.

Rubbish!

Rubbish!, originally uploaded by Dellis.

Rubbish!

Rubbish!, originally uploaded by Dellis.

A Fire Upon The Deep

A Fire Upon The Deep, originally uploaded by Dellis.

Most incredible lunar show the other night, as we rounded the Eastern tip of Bali. Thick, luminous clouds, lit from within by a highly gibbous moon.

I miss you. (Three years today)

I miss you. (Three years today), originally uploaded by Dellis.

Miniature Seagulls

Miniature Seagulls, originally uploaded by Dellis.

Tilt shift shot at Coogee Beach, Sydney

Toy Crane and Toy Barge (tilt shift miniature attempt)

Toy Crane and Toy Barge (tilt shift miniature attempt), originally uploaded by Dellis.

Skips on Dock (tilt shift miniature attempt)

Skips on Dock (tilt shift miniature attempt), originally uploaded by Dellis.

Ladder and bins (tilt shift miniature attempt)

Ladder and bins (tilt shift miniature attempt), originally uploaded by Dellis.

Miniature pond (tilt shift trials)

Miniature pond (tilt shift trials), originally uploaded by Dellis.

Trying out the miniature effect in-camera with the Arax 35mm f/2.8 tilt shift lens. Lens tilted up here, offering an almost but not quite there effect.

Sound and Vision you ain't Seen nor Heard Part 2

Damn I'm getting lax about this whole blogging thing, but regardless, here's Part 2.

Bogart Shwadchuck -- Bitch Go Buy Me A Hotdog.

It's supposedly a concept album, and while I've been playing it on high rotation I've not had, nor seen anyone themselves grab a hotdog. However, it is as catchy as hell. Download the whole thing, free.



Crystal Castles -- Air War

Sweet Jesus I cannot wait for their debut album. Full of good hooks and 8-bit beeps and blorps, this is one that is on massively high rotation. This is a fan video, which is ok I guess, but I'm more about the music and the weird layback on the vocal processing. Nice.
Dan Deacon -- Woody Woodpecker

Nothing crystalises early Saturday morning cartoons and batshit insane childhood memories quite like Dan Deacon's CD 'Spiderman of the Rings'. Another fan video, this is set to Woody Woodpecker. Brilliant.

Sound and Vision you ain't Seen nor Heard Part 1

Thought I'd pop up some clips and music of artists I've either loved for a long time or whose video clips are unique in some way.

Yuki -- Sentimental Journey

She's a doll, and it's hard to take in this video as it's all done in a single take. Reminds me of some of Gondry's in-camera effects work.



Polysics -- I Me My Mine

This is more for the music than anything else, but gotta love that dancing.



Lest it get all Japanophile, here's a stunning clip to a beautiful song.

Smog -- Rock Bottom Riser

"Call the HR department, see if we need more wankers."

I'm a little late to this one, but here's the most woeful video job application you'll ever come across. Aleksey Vayner's application to investment firms made the Internet rounds late in 2006, after it so bemused the HR people that it was readily emailed about. I'll post it here as well, but it's all over Youtube.

As with any Internet meme, humanity stopped trying to cure AIDS, and pulled together as one to investigate this video further.

Aleksey is a little...shall we say liquid with the truth about his life. I know I try to keep the fact that I am a black belt in Wing Chung, that I am the world's greatest assassin, and that I am the universe's most beloved TV and movie star quiet...but not Aleksey. He embraces his fictions with a verve that's astonishing.

If I were ten years old, I too would think Aleksey was as awesome as he does.

And now onto Aleksey's video application "Impossible is Nothing", with long rambling answers about being successful, how believing in yourself allows you to achieve success, and how success comes from determination and belief in yourself and belief in determination. All set to a harrowing montage of Aleksey ballroom dancing, bench-pressing weights, serving tennis balls and punching a stack of bricks.



It's understandable if you can't sit through the whole video, but it's worth it only for Michael Cera's brilliant parody: "Impossble is the Opposite of Possible"

Damn Right He Did!

Click to embiggen

It just made sense...

Glass Candy - Digital Versicolor
Uploaded by epb21

...at 7am, after painkillers and stitches and injections...

Also, download the full mp3 here.

The Unicorn Kingdom Club

It has unicorns, and a unicorn devotee so earnest and enthusiastic that while a parody it borders on the creepily realistic. Dare you sign up for membership?

Also, is it just me or does that hairstyle and freaky mannerisms remind you of the Peter Pan guy?

They Want Your Brain-Meats

Way back on the 25^th of October 2001, I attended Microsoft's massive Windows XP launch and hoopla at the Sydney Olympic Park along with hundreds of fellow journalists, Microsoft business partners and others.

We had prime seating for the event (being media) and I have to say that it was the first massive launch of its kind I had seen by Microsoft. Morrisey (not that one, the other one) had some models parade his latest fashions, some reality TV contest winning band of ladies plied their easily forgettable music, and Rove McManus, Australian TV's latest fad, was the MC for the event.

All in all it was baffling from an IT perspective, but it was clear that this portion was about the spectacle and less about Windows XP.

After the singing and dancing was all done, all the journalists were ushered to special room for a quick media briefing. The actual presentation was over and done with in minutes, as everyone assembled had been using XP from Alpha to Beta builds all the way through to RC1 and we already had our full copies a few days earlier.

So the presentation was more re-iterating Microsoft's satisfaction with the launch, the new-found stability of the OS, and as one PowerPoint claimed:

17% Increased Usability

This was only up for a moment, but for those of us who caught it it leaped off the screen. During question time it was brought up. How can you know XP is 17% more usable than Windows 98?! How do you measure such a thing?

The figure is so exact. Not 25%, or 10%, but exactly 17%.

There were no answers that day. It had the Aussie reps stumped too and everyone had a giggle, and since then I've often imagined two marketers working somewhere in Redmond, poring over facts and figures to include in the international press kit:

'Let's not forget to mention that it's easier to use.'

'Good idea! It is easier, isn't it.'

'How much easier though?'

'Well, easier than 98 for sure.'

'We can't say “Easier Than Windows 98”.'

'Well, how about we say it's twice as easy?'

'That sounds too much. How about “17% Increased Usability”?”

'Ooh, that sounds like Science!'

When Windows Vista came out I wondered what the Increase to Usability was. I have no idea, but from what I've been reading it looks like Microsoft's on the case for the next iteration of the Windows Behemoth.

Their recent patent application is all about being 'able to determine the effectiveness of a computer-user interface' by analysing 'electrical signals caused by electrical changes within the brain'.

You read that right. Microsoft is looking to hook up people to an EEG while they mess about with the next-gen Vista II Beta, to see which parts make them happy, which make them seethe with anger.

I'd hate to be part of this, but for the test-monkeys that do participate it at least means that the next time Microsoft tell me the new OS features 17% Increased Usability it'll be a fact that I can trust.

I just wonder where they're going to hide the bodies.

All we hear is, Radio Lah Lah

I've found nothing that typifies the absolute dross that passes for entertainment on the radio in Singapore than this sketch from the fabulous Big Train comedy series.

Of course part of the problem is that the radio stations are all owned and operated by MediaCorp, so homogeny is the go there. Different songs, same inanity.

And for once I'm not on about the stations bleating out the party line -- hell, all media in Singapore trumpets what the Lees tell them -- but please MediaCorp, for the love of god can't you do something about the banality?