My Super Pre-Op Ex-Girlfriend

It looks like the kind of movie I’d watch only out of entertainment desperation, or if I wanted to impress a girl on a date with how sensitive I am, but I cannot say that My Super Ex-Girlfriend excites me. I’ve only seen the trailer though, so maybe I am depriving myself of an entire universe of larfs.

There is one part of the trailer that kind of disturbs me a little. It’s a sex scene where Uma is riding Luke’s character in bed, and being the demanding Super Ex-Girlfriend that she obviously is she’s riding him super hard. So hard in fact, that the bedhead is being driven through the wall, most probably into the neighbour’s apartment where hilarity and hijinks must surely ensue.

What worries me in this part of the trailer is that the bed is being driven through the wall as Uma thrusts forward, in what for anyone who’s had sex like this would mean Uma is essentially coming off Luke. Had Luke been on top and been the Super Ex-Boyfriend then the laws of physics would remain unchallenged, and Einstein and Newton could stop oscillating in their graves.

But no, Uma’s on top which means only one thing: for the thrusts to work as depicted Uma must in fact be Luke’s super soon-to-be-ex-man ex girlfriend, and he’s being penetrated like never before.

Which also explains the horrified look on Luke Wilson’s face.

Fin.